Casting begins for “No Toilet Training Allowed – The AFC Kingston Story”

The owner of the Heel of God
The owner of the Heel of God

[dropcap]Following[/dropcap] today’s announcement that previously well-respected educationalist and author John Green intends to sully his reputation further by producing a film about the story of the Kingston lot, the footballing world is alive with speculation as to who will pick up some of the key roles.

Early reports suggest that “No Toilet Training Allowed – The AFC Kingston Story” will cover all the key moments in the club’s short history.  Current football showbiz rumours suggest that the arrest and imprisonment of their first goalscorer will feature prominently, and that the film will culminate in a very long slow-motion sequence of the ball looping from Semi’s heel, over Neil Sullivan’s head and into the net at the Cowshed end.

Bookies favourites to pick up the starring roles are currently as follows:

  • Glen Mulcaire – John Altman
  • Jon Otsemobor – Ryan Gosling
  • Neil Sullivan – Shaun Williams
  • Dirty Protestors – supplied by Whipsnade Zoo
  • Neil Ardley – Danny Dyer
  • Ivor Hellor – Steve McFadden
  • Erik Samuelson – Leslie Grantham
  • Pete Winkelman – George Clooney
  • John Brockwell – Clint Eastwood
  • Simon from London – Adam Woodyatt
  • Beavis and Butthead – Beavis and Butthead
  • Kevin from Bath – Ian Holloway
  • Sam Hammam – Eddie Izzard

We’ll keep you posted on the news as it happens.


Season 2 - 2014/15 The MooCamp Radio Show

Listen Now – The MooCamp Radio Show 2.14 – 5th November 2014

The one where we finally got to play The Cure (but only by putting it on first).

Issue 2.14 of The MooCamp Radio Show, where we discuss the visit of Swindon, the visit by the Kingston lot, the MKDSA FIFA night and the upcoming trip to Port Vale.

We get more insight from the gutter in The Lexicon of Chav, Paul Heald pops in to use his healing powers once more and we continue the remarkably popular Joke of the Week series, along with your thoughts on Daniel Powell and lots more.

Music comes from The Cure and David Bowie, which would be a great double act, had they not already played together at Dave’s 50th.

The MooCamp Radio Show – the show that gives you a warm tingly feeling that’s a cross between genuine happiness and having lost control of your bladder.

Season 2 - 2014/15 The MooCamp Radio Show

Listen NOW – the MooCamp Radio Show 2.10 – 08 10 2014

mkdvdThe one after the Kingston match. And Yeovil, but none of us went to that.

We talk at surprising length about the match we weren’t at, and we talk at even further length about the match against the Kingston lot. It didn’t feel that bad in the end, and in places was quite funny, so we’ve got enough material to keep going for weeks.

We hear Lieutenant Dan’s excuse of the week, we get the latest from the Bovril forecast, we add another entry to the Over, Above and Beyond wall of honour and generally do loads more stuff. More tweets, texts and Facebook comments than you can shake a stick at. And we shake a stick at them.

Music came from Ash and Morrissey (Get well soon) and didn’t come from The Bluetones, as we talked too much.

The MooCamp Radio Show – it’s like last night never really happened, and gives you the feeling that everything is going to be alright.


So will the clock need to be reset?

Armitage Shanks - The MooCamp Radio ShowIt’s too early to tell at the moment, but rest assured that we WILL keep you posted.  We’ve had another visit from “they who don’t know how to use a toilet” so there’s every chance that we will need to reset the Armitage Shanks Memorial Clock.  We have discussed the possibility of creating a separate upper-tier clock – we’ll update you on that as soon as we know more.

Our contacts inside the club are reviewing the damage at the moment and will report back soon – as soon as we know, you’ll know.