This Just In – in what has been described as one of the most hypocritical attacks in recent memory, disgraced Olympic sprinter and drug-cheat Ben Johnson today launched a blistering attack on Karl ‘Robbo’ Robinson’s handling of the Samir Caruthers PissGate story.
In a plea published in today’s Milton Keynes Citizen, Johnson claimed that the Dons were ‘the most unpopular side in the UK’, that Caruthers was a ‘Disgusting Juvenile’ and that the Dons were allegedly ‘a family club’.
The MooCamp says “We won’t be lectured on morality by a disgraced drug cheat, so how about sorting that out first Mr so-called Johnson? If you’re keen to have your views taken seriously, then how about popping back in time and not cheating in the 1988 Olympic 100m final first eh? Get your own house in order Mr Johnson, then, and only then, you can come back and have a go at our fine urinating lads.”
We’d also like to gently criticise the lack of consistency used – reference to both Milton Keynes Dons and Milton Keynes Football Club in the same article breaks all established rules of franchise bashing.
(The reference to ‘splashed’ in the first sentence was quite funny though)
More on this once we’ve established when he moved from Canada.
On Thursday, the 17th of March, 2016, The Mail online website lead with a comment piece by Richard Littlejohn entitled, ‘The Death Of Shame, RICHARD LITTLEJOHN on what those hideous scenes at Cheltenham tell us about modern mores and morality’In said leader, the ever opinionated Mr Littlejohn, indeed opined, and held forth on the events that occurred the previous day, led by our own delightful midfield general, Samir.
While not making any excuses for his, and others, behaviour, the irony of being lectured on morality by a ‘news paper’ (and I’m using the word news under advice here) like The Daily Mail hasn’t escaped me. Littlejohn’s piece, foretelling the end of western culture as we know it due to the fact that two young girls flashed their tits, and some idiots pee’d in a glass, was run beside headlines such as… ‘Flaunts Her Beach Ready Body’, ‘Displays Her Never Ending Pins’, ‘Shares An Instagram Showcasing Her Taut Stomach’, etc, etc. (All these are in fact real. Not one made up!) While showing the indignation that Littlejohn is rightly known for, his paymasters that very day, also ran no less than fifteen, yes that’s fifteen, stories about the delightful Kardashian family. Famous for quite literally being famous, and getting yer’ arse out on the interweb. The Mail, and it’s mental little brother, The Sun’s coverage of Sammy’s pissgate (as we’re now obligated to call it) reeks of the worst kind of double standards. And talking of irony and double standards, I hope the person who issued the veiled warning to the young supporters last week, is talking a long hard look at themselves. Pot, kettle, black. But then again, timing is everything.
It was an extremely stupid thing to do, but I’m of the belief that they, football players, have little grasp of common sense. They are little more than children. If your every whim is catered for, then why should you bother growing up in the first place? Didn’t the repugnant Adam Johnson state recently when on trial that football had stalled his maturity! They genuinely believe that they’re beyond the constraints that govern the rest of us mere mortals. And therefore I seriously doubt that he was aware that relieving yourself in a pint-pot isn’t quite the done thing.
From a purely selfish point of view, I’d rather Carruthers wasn’t suspended against dirty bastards Albion, but he was. But from a moralistic point of view, I think the right tone has been set. We could hardly set ourselves up as the family friendly club that we are, then let this go unpunished. His punishment started with Winkie telling everyone how angry he was. Then Sammy gave away two weeks wages to deserving causes, which was nice. There was a humiliating apology filmed live on Sky, where Sammy had is best humble face on display. And finally Krobbo no doubt told us that Sammy was magnificent, a credit to himself and the club. That he would pick himself up and we all move on.
Quite a lot of people were very quick to take to social media calming that he’d let both the club and them down, well he hasn’t let me down. I care not one jot what he does off the pitch, with the proviso that it doesn’t affect me or mine. Him peeing in a glass didn’t hurt me. I don’t care. People, from my point of view, can do whatever the hell they want, as long as it won’t impact directly on me. I don’t know him personally, but whenever I’ve met professional footballers they’ve been little more than morons. Sorry, but that’s how it is. They don’t care about me, so why should I give a hoot about them? He’ll soon be gone somewhere else, I’ll still be here. I’ve followed this club for over 11 years. Leon Knight was a bloody idiot before he joined us. He was an idiot when he was here. He was an idiot when he played against us after he left. And for all I know he’s still an idiot. But he’s gone, and I’m still here.
Samir was a stupid boy, I’ve a child older than him, but no one died. The sun still rose this morning, and will no doubt set this evening. The Mail, and The Sun are no doubt laying into some other poor idiot this morning. In short, the world still goes on.
I’m writing this on Saturday night after Baker’s superb penalty, a quick check on today’s Mail reveals that the biggest news in the UK is that someone has sworn live on air on Chris Evans’ radio show, only 13 stories about the Kardashians today, slipping up there I suspect, The Queens almost 90, someone called Ian Duncan-Smith has done something they’re not quite sure is a good thing or a bad thing, but surprise surprise , nothing about Samir, or MK Dons.
This just in – following last week’s little display at Cheltenham, and we say that because he’s not long in the showers (if you know what I mean) it would appear that MK Dons midfield starlet, Samir Carruthers, has this week suffered a Boardroom injury, which looks to have been very painful in the pocket area, and may keep him out of the game for the near future, or until the fans have forgotten about ‘UrineGate’ at least.
Chants of ‘Same old Samir, taking the p***’ would not have been encouraged at a Family Fun Day. When asked when he’d be back, he replied ‘Probably for Cheltenham, in their league too’.
More on this once we’ve established just how long he’s been banned from Cheltenham for.
In response to significant supporter demand, combined with a specific request from Cheltenham Cleaning Supplies, we’re pleased to announce the arrival of the Samir Caruthers’ Incontinence Clock. The clock, powered by a mix of modern technology and good old-fashioned ammonia, will track the time since Samir’s last ‘accident’, which we hope will provide a sense of ‘good-boy’ encouragement to Samir and all who know him.
To view the clock, just visit http://www.moocamp.com