Tag Archives: Kayak

Gers on Sunday – We Don’t Give A F**k About Charity – 03/04/2016

When I was a wee small lad back in the mid-sixties (yes, I am that old) I loved footy. Went every other week. One shilling for kids. It was a serious amount of money at the time, when pocket money was two of the aforementioned bobs. We were poor, but we were happy etc, etc, etc. But as young men will, girls and music intervened, and the lure of standing on a terrace with someone pissing down the back of your leg waned somewhat.

The mid-seventies arrived. I was an original punk rocker, had a girl friend, and a stupid haircut, but more importantly, I was a skateboarder. Yes, you’ve read that correctly, I skated. I was 13 when I first started skating. I was in my mid-forties when I stopped. And yes, you’ve also read that correctly, I was in my mid-forties when I, a middle-aged man, stopped skateboarding.  

Skateboarding is a truly wonderful thing. Skating in the mid-nineties when you’re in your thirties, married, a father, have a mortgage and running your own one man business, well it takes a certain amount of dedication. It wasn’t like skating in the USA, where Mom and Pop would take little Johnny down to the local park and make a day of it, was it fuck. No! Skating in the UK was punk rock. If you’d managed to keep skating through countless winters, sought out fantastic architecture on which to display your amazing skills, and well, withstood the ridicule of everyone else, you were truly punk rock.

Radar and Bootsie
Radar and Bootsie Looking Foxy

There was one particular group of skaters from Harrow. The Death Squad they called themselves. You may have caught them on the Dirty Sanchez telly show. Now these guys were truly hardcore. Both in their skating, and indeed in their lifestyle. I remember one of them, a fella’ called Dan Cates (look him up on YouTube, you won’t be disappointed) being interviewed on the telly once. He was asked about some charity event that was going on at the time. A sponsored skate, or some such rubbish. His answer has become a catchphrase of mine to this day. Old Dan turned to the camera, smiled a gap-toothed smile, adjusted his cap, and opined… “We don’t give a fuck about charity”.

Now, I’m a cynical bugger, I really am. If someone dies that I don’t know, my initial reaction isn’t, ‘Thoughts and prayers with whoever has just pegged it’. Not me. I’m more likely to just shrug, and think, ‘Who cares!’. I didn’t pray for Muamba, I don’t know him. I wouldn’t hold a candlelit vigil if another member of the royal family pegged it. I just wouldn’t .

Okay, I’m joking. Sort of. I am very cynical, but I’ve also given significant amounts of money to charity over the years. Disaster funds, cancer, Shelter, and most importantly of all for me, the NSPCC. They’ve all had a lot of my hard earned over the years. I’ve also volunteered to work for charitable organisations for free. I do a lot for charity, but I don’t like to talk about it. 

So there you go, charity. I’m all for it. Just don’t tell anyone. Now, imagine that you earned £7 per minute. That equates to £420 per hour, £3,360 per 8 hour day, £16,800 a week, £67,200 a month, and £806,400 a year. Which is of course significantly less than your average Premiership player earns. It is however somewhere around the exact amount it takes to keep Willen Hospice running. It’s a lot of money isn’t it! It’s a charity. They have to raise that money by themselves. Or hope that others will on their behalf. 

The Walking Dead
The Walking Dead

So, while Samir Nasri is no doubt bombing around the streets of Manchester (average house price £85,000) in his £330,000 Lamborghini, a group of around 10 Dons supporters walked, yes walked, to Fulham. All the while two other supporters kayaked to the very same away game. I know! How on earth does one kayak to Craven Cottage? But there you go. They did. Well at least I hope they did, as I’m writing this before the attempt was made. Gonna’ look a bit stupid if they didn’t. And if they indeed did, it was all in aid of the aforementioned good cause. And if you haven’t already, then you should give them some of your hard earned money. (Links at the foot of this piece). Because if you don’t, then you’re worse that Samir Nasri, who no one likes. 

Both attempts are truly admirable. The average person can walk somewhere around 20 miles in an 8 hour stint. I’ve no idea how far the average person can kayak in an 8 hour stint, but as you’re sitting down all the way, then it must be the easier option. Skateboarders can obviously outdo both. It’s 56 miles from stadium:mk to Craven Cottage. Therefore, two 8 hour stints would still leave you 16 miles on the last day. It’s an early start. And when you get there you have to watch MK. Not a pleasing thought. 

So there you go. They either did, or didn’t do it. But irrespective of the final outcome, massive kudos to both attempts. This from a fan base from the universally loathed Franchise FC. So while the football world heaps scorn on us, and our estranged cousins post the most bizarre and vaguely disturbing thoughts online, our fans get up off their arses (apart from the kayaks who quite literally sat on theirs all day) and actually made a difference.

So don’t be like Dan Cates, give a fuck about charity.

Walking… https://www.justgiving.com/mkdsa-mkdonswalk2016/

Kayaking… https://www.justgiving.com/Richard-Nordsted

Gers.

Fulham Away 2nd April 2016 – Match Preview

The MooCamp Radio Show Issue 2.21So it’s starting to get serious then 😉

We trek down to that London tomorrow for a match that both teams will be desperately hoping to win, and one where a loss would see the other team sitting in the bottom three come 5pm.  A draw wouldn’t be the end of the world for either, but that would leave us in the bottom three, which will undoubtedly raise the pressure on the players.  At this time of the season, this is just as much a psychological battle than a footballing one, and as our results against the teams around us have shown, we’re struggling in this one.

We’ve not been to Craven Cottage before (well at least I haven’t, so it amounts to the same thing) so the chance to tick another ground off (I think I’m in the mid-sixties of the current 92 at the moment – will need to tot up properly) is one that will be taken by a fair few of our lot   It’s expected that we’ll take around 1500-1600, which is a fairly sizeable away following by our standards.  It should be added that of those fans, there are a number who are making their journey down there as difficult as possible, so they can raise money for Willen Hospice – Bootsie and Radar by kayak and Dan, Ashley, Emmaaaaaaaaa, Tracy and others on foot.  Good luck to you all – you have both my admiration and my money, so stop asking.

So what can I tell you about Fulham then?  Well as you will know by now, here at MooCamp Towers, we consider research to be cheating, so we go with what we know.

What I know about Fulham is:

  • Jimmy Hill was their Chairman at one point, and they ended up getting relegated on the basis of a goals scored rule (as opposed to goal difference) that Jimmy introduced
  • Mohammed Al Fayed used to own them, and might still do for all I know
  • They used to have a statue of Michael Jackson outside their ground, which is perhaps the most surreal of all the football-related statues that have ever existed in these isles
  • Richard Osman of Pointless fame is a fan, and was good enough to retweet about our fans sponsored travels
  • They have a neutrals section of their ground, presumably to cater for all the tourists who can’t get into the games at clubs that they’ve heard of.  A neutral area is an interesting idea, though not one that we’d ever use of course 😉
  • Lewie’s dad Ray used to be their manager
  • They’ve never won a major trophy.  Ever.  A good opportunity for our fans to get out the silver foil and cardboard replicas of the Portiamao cup, it would seem

In preparation for the match, we spoke to Andrew at CottageConfidential and gave him three questions:

1) Sum up your season for us – how’s it gone, how does that compare to your expectations and how is it going to end?

This is a season in which most Fulham supporters thought we would be challenging for a playoff spot, instead we’re flirting with relegation. At this point so little has gone right that I’m almost resigned to relegation

2) What needs to change at your club, and what mustn’t change?

I have no idea what is wrong. The players the club have brought in have played great defense at other clubs. They get to Fulham and they simply forget how to defend. It was easy to chalk that up to bad coaching. But now that Jokanovic is in charge, it’s really hard to use that excuse. If I knew how to fix this club, I’d certainly shout it from the rooftops, but I’m just as confused as everyone else.

3) What’s your take on the whole Wimbledon move to MK and the subsequent birth of the MK Dons?

To be honest, I didn’t really understand all the anger over it for quite sometime. I’m an American, and sports teams moving is just a natural thing here. The NBA team where I live (Seattle) moved to the place where I grew up (Oklahoma). It happens enough here for it to almost become business as usual. But I’m sure the first teams that moved in this country caused just as much commotion as Wimbeldon moving. In the future, this kind of thing might happen more. It’s going to be easier for a rich guy to buy a team in a smaller local and move them to a bigger venue that it will be to invest wisely in the small club to build them up the old fashioned way. I’m not sure what rules the FA has in place to prevent this, but it’s something I could see happening more and more

As to what’s likely to happen on the pitch, that’s anybody’s guess.  We’re capable of winning this, but we’re also capable of getting  good hiding from them.  My money is on a nil-nil draw, but secretly, I think we’ll do this 2:1.

Brando’s Blog – Family Fun Day – Give us your Foobing Money – 18/03/2016

It’s Family Fun day tomorrow at Stadium Colon MK, and you have the opportunity to stand in the presence of greatness.  Our very own Bootsie and Radar – the two mad Dons fans who will be kayaking to the Fulham game to raise vital funds for Willen Hospice – will be there, in the flesh, looking remarkably sexy.

The Kayak Brothers
The Kayak Brothers

You can see more about the wonderfully stupid task they’re undertaking on their Facebook page, but more importantly, you can give them just a little of your cash too, either directly on their fundraising page or you can come have a go at the Tombola tomorrow.  There are over 100 Tombola prizes or you can buy a raffle ticket to win an amazing Easter cake made by Megan Knight.   Also all kids and adults are able to sit in the kayaks and see what the boys will be sitting in for 10/12 hours a day

Stardust – The MooCamp Radio Show 3.17 – Listen Now!

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The MooCamp Radio Show 3.17 - Listen Now!The one where Radar popped in and Bowie popped off.

Issue 17 of the tricky third series of The MooCamp Radio Show finds us with little positive to talk about football-wise, and the loss of a music god impacting on us all. Oddly enough, we still managed to have a rather fun time, helped splendidly by Mr Radar making his first trip into the studio.

We talk about the lows and lows of Northampton away, smoke, argy-bargy, the lows and very lows of Burnley at home and we look forward with some trepidation to the visits of Reading and the Cobblers. More importantly, we discuss the upcoming visit to Fulham with our fans using seemingly countless ways of making their way there – Mr Radar Kayak, one half of the famous Kayak brothers joins us because Bootsie couldn’t be bothered.

We have smoke-related questions and answers, plentiful Franchise Watch submissions, lots of texts, tweets, roundabouts, links and occasional hilarity amongst the presenters.

Music came from David Bowie. And David Bowie.

The MooCamp Radio Show – it’s like nobody ever dies.

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