Following today’s announcement that previously well-respected educationalist and author John Green intends to sully his reputation further by producing a film about the story of the Kingston lot, the footballing world is alive with speculation as to who will pick up some of the key roles.
Early reports suggest that “No Toilet Training Allowed – The AFC Kingston Story” will cover all the key moments in the club’s short history. Current football showbiz rumours suggest that the arrest and imprisonment of their first goalscorer will feature prominently, and that the film will culminate in a very long slow-motion sequence of the ball looping from Semi’s heel, over Neil Sullivan’s head and into the net at the Cowshed end.
Bookies favourites to pick up the starring roles are currently as follows:
- Glen Mulcaire – John Altman
- Jon Otsemobor – Ryan Gosling
- Neil Sullivan – Shaun Williams
- Dirty Protestors – supplied by Whipsnade Zoo
- Neil Ardley – Danny Dyer
- Ivor Hellor – Steve McFadden
- Erik Samuelson – Leslie Grantham
- Pete Winkelman – George Clooney
- John Brockwell – Clint Eastwood
- Simon from London – Adam Woodyatt
- Beavis and Butthead – Beavis and Butthead
- Kevin from Bath – Ian Holloway
- Sam Hammam – Eddie Izzard
We’ll keep you posted on the news as it happens.