Match Report – Wednesday 0:0 Dons – 19/04/2016

One of those ‘not sure why that was so good, but it really, really was’ kind of evenings.  Still buzzing from it a couple of days later to be honest.  There were a number of ‘why on earth are you going?’ questions that were thrown my way beforehand, but it was a bit like Saturday, in that I felt I really should be there.

No opportunity for #Coachwars, as there was just the one coach, although I did my best, with #coachwarssoundtracks bringing the best of a series of Desert Island Disc podcasts.  Chris Hadfield, Kylie and an author, activist and feminist whose name escapes me all shared their life stories and their record collections, and the journey went quickly.

Hillsborough is a difficult place to watch football.  As soon as you see the away end from the outside, it still looks exactly the same as it did in all those news reports from 1989.  It’s eerie and I find it hard not to feel like some sort of tragedy voyeur if I spend too long outside there.  I took a walk round to the memorial, which I always find a moving experience – this year, with our match being so close to an anniversary, and particularly with the jury currently being out, it felt doubly so.  There were messages and flowers from some of the families, which I found difficult to read, so I made my way back to the ground.

We weren’t expecting many of our lot, and it felt a bit like an away match of old – I recognised pretty much every one of the 185 of us who made the trip, and there was just a good feeling about it.  We know we’re down (unless something ridiculous happens repeatedly over the next few weeks, but more of that later) and everyone just seemed happy to enjoy the ride while we’re still in the championship.

Leppings Lane
Leppings Lane

So we’re relying on a miracle if we’re going to stay up, we rarely score (to be honest at the moment, we rarely shoot), our main goalie is out for the rest of the season, our number two goalie is suspended and we’ve got our academy goalie Charlie Burns making his full debut.  Our most consistent defender is on 14 yellows so one more will see him out for the rest of the season.  We’re playing a team who have resources that simply are in a different league to us, and who are in the playoff spots.  What could possibly go wrong?

Well to be honest, it went rather well, all things considered.  Charlie did himself proud, making some good saves throughout the game.  Wednesday hit the woodwork about a hundred times, and didn’t seem to have their shooting boots with them when they managed to get into good positions.  Wednesday went down to ten men after one of their lot decided to literally kick Johnny Williams up in the air while the ref was busy booking one of their lot for diving (harshly I’ve heard since).  Johnny Williams got assaulted by one of their supporters when he got substituted, Robbo intervened to protect him, and all the while, the Wednesday players, bench and fans were getting more and more hot and bothered.

The crowd were getting on their backs, and were we even remotely threatening as a football team at the moment, we’d probably have gone on to win it.  Sadly that wasn’t to be, but we knew that a draw would be enough to keep us clinging on for four more days, and cling on we did.

Wednesday on a Tuesday
Wednesday on a Tuesday

What made the evening so special for me was that we felt united as a fanbase.  We were all in it together, we all sang together, we all laughed together and we generally all had a great time together – none of the frustrations and annoyances that have been part of other away trips this season were there, and it felt great to be there together.  Thanks everyone.

Come the final whistle, as the other scores came in, it became clear that everyone else had drawn too.  That meant that Charlton were relegated, we were still nine points behind the three teams above us, but interestingly, Bristol City had dropped back into fourth from bottom.

Odd as it may seem, there’s still a chance for us to stay up.  If we win our remaining three games, and Bristol City lose their remaining three games, we will stay up.  While I could easily see Bristol City losing their remaining three games, I really can’t see us winning ours, so it’s not going to happen, but it keeps it alive for one more game.  If we win on Saturday and any of the other four lose, then we’re still clinging on, but the Bristol City goal difference means that it really has to be them.

COYD

Brando.

Gers on Sunday – Eight One! Eight Bloody One! – 17/04/2016

The peasants are revolting…

  • “Did I read it right? That fans actually booed Karl Robinson??? Shame on you”
  • “Yeah, totally agree, some people have very short memories!”
  • “Things like this really make me feel sad for football and its fans.”
  • “Do they really think that buying a ticket gives them the right to treat people like this?”
  • “I agree 100%. I have no doubt that some are bullies too.”
Gers on Sunday
Gers on Sunday

These quotes are taken from MK’s second most popular on-line fans forum in the wake of last weekend’s defeat at the feet, and heads of Rotherham. While I think that some, if not all, are rip- roaringly hilarious (especially the one that no doubts that some are bullies) there’s a ring of truth to all of them (except the ‘bullies’ one. Which I’ve just put in because it’s funny). However, the second one down, the one that mentions short memories. Now that person hit the nail firmly in the head.

It hasn’t been a great season. You’d be delusional if you thought otherwise. But the vitriol that Robinson has received since last weekend has been nothing short of pathetic. Can you remember his reaction when we got promoted last May? Remember that day, when he came over to The Cowshed (the very same Cowshed that booed him last weekend) smiling, waving, laughing? The look of relief on his face just before the final whistle, when it’d been confirmed that he’d finally managed to do what four other previous incumbents of his position failed to. Remember that? Great wasn’t it! And how about how you felt! I mean you must’ve been walking on cloud 9. I know I was. I actually hugged complete strangers that day. It was a wonderful.

The MooCamp Radio Show 2.19
“Dreaming of the barbers”

We, as a fan base, get an awful lot of stick from the wider football family. It’s the classic catch 22 situation (and if you don’t get that reference, then you should read more). We’re all two club wankers. Wonder who we supported before 2004? We’re plastic, and know nothing about real support. Which always makes me laugh. The contradiction of following another club before the move, while simultaneously knowing nothing about following a club after the move. But there you go. I’m of the belief that most people are idiots. And there’s your proof. But I think after the quite frankly shameful reaction when Robbo walked out onto the pitch last weekend to acknowledge the fans… Well, perhaps the wider football family may have a point.

If you’re reading this, and you were one of the small section who booed, then stop reading now. I don’t want folk like you reading my stuff. It’s not for you. Have you gone? Good. Then we can talk about you behind your back.

I like following MK. It’s a laugh. It’s not a proper club in the traditional sense of the idea. Good. That’s one of the main reasons I’m an avid supporter. I like Captain Beefheart (and once again, if you haven’t heard of him, then you should get out more), The Fall, Sleaford Mods. Stewart Lee, Ivor Cutler. Stuff that’s quite difficult to like. And like them, that’s why I support MK. It’s not easy following this club. When I first started, I was constantly making excuses for it. Always felt slightly ashamed. Dirty. Then one day, after I almost had a stand up fight with a Luton supporter, simply down to the fact that I actually lived in MK and had the audacity to follow MK Dons, I thought fuck it. Now I take great pleasure in rubbing it right in people’s faces. As a great man with a stick on moustache once said, I’d never be a member of a club that would have me as a member.

But enough about me and my fantastic cultural awareness. Let’s get back to the booing.

  • “I personally won’t boo but people should have the right to do so”
  • “If you don’t like a difference of opinion or free speech then move to North Korea”
  • “Booing is now part of everybody’s working life, Robbo was booed because some didn’t like his work”
The MooCamp Earlier Today
The MooCamp Earlier Today

The above quotes taken from a little known MK on-line fans fourm. And once again, comedy gold. Especially No’2. Who argues the right of free speech, while denying  the right he’s arguing for to others.

While there has undoubtedly been massive problems this season, but if you think Krobbo is to blame, then you’re wrong. Canny business plans, landscaped car parks, padded seats, a hotel with hundreds of rooms, a cinema, on and on and on. That won’t keep us in The Championship. If he’s got no money to spend, then who on earth is he going to bring in? The current consensus around the wonderful word of the interweb, is that our scouting team is in disarray, with the sad death of Andy King. Scouting now being headed by Winkie’s son. Make of that what you will. Playing devils advocate here, you may just have noticed that Winkie was nowhere to be seen at the end of last week’s game. Just saying like.

I’m writing this before Thursday’s fan’s forum, which you may, or more probably didn’t attend. I’m wondering how many of those who booed last weekend, booed Krobbo at the end of the forum. I’m betting none. So how about instead of berating Krobbo next time we get a right kicking, you keep your powder dry, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and think back to last May. Oh and you might like to consider not behaving like a spoilt Victorian child (Fall reference, for those ITK)

Gers

The Lexicon of Chav – 16/04/2016

Yes, it’s Lexicon time – the part of the show where each week we educate you, yes you, the educated elite, into the ways of the feral underclass that seemingly run our planet, by providing detailed translations of common ‘street-talk’.

This week, the words under scrutiny are:

Boys to mensh

Common usage:- Prestoney! In the zoner, ya’ll that’s a hardcore hood, but you want take on my man C here, go ahead because you know, he’s fierce, he gonna come up in your face he gonna major damage you, you gonna walk away maybe limp but I say talk to the hand, call waiting, ’cause he’s out, boy is out… I can’t restrains him ’cause I’m conversatin’ you right now to give him a chance to cool down, to get back to a realistic level, as it were because we could be chillin’ in our crib, representing the M to the K and Lakeshood, you know. Mallin’ it like we all can, boys to mensh, pimp my Mercedes, call me back, put you on hold, you know what I’m sayin’?

Definition:- ‘Now, we don’t want any palaver with the nice northern gentleman, Ruprecht, do we? Come along old bean…’.

Winkie earlier today
Winkie earlier today

Widely and incorrectly believed to have originated from the 2004 hit film, The Football Factory, its first recorded usage actually dates to Corineus, legendary eponymous hero of Cornwall. According to Geoffrey of Monmouth’s Historia regum Britanniae (1135–39), he was a Trojan warrior who accompanied Brutus the Trojan, the legendary founder of Britain, to England. Corineus killed Gogmagog(Goëmagot), the greatest of the giants inhabiting Cornwall, by hurling him from a cliff. A cliff near Totnes, Devon, is still called Giant’s Leap.

The Bovril Forecast – 16/04/2016

We know how difficult it is to plan ahead without accurate forecasting, so we’re proud to support the Bovril Forecast – bought to you by the lovely people at Forecast – telling the future, one cup at a time.

And the forecast for this week is:-

Still served up next season, but relegated to a 16oz cup.

This Just In – 12/04/2016

This Just In – Following last Tuesday’s quite horrific challenge by MK Dons defensive maestro, Anthony Kay, MK Dons supremo, Andrew ‘Call me Andy’ Cullen has explained that all that need be done, has been done.

Having been lucky enough to have been within the club media departments, I can announce that they have been working around the clock since Tuesday night and believe they have created a new App, which they have studied really well – or an ‘ology’ if you will, and the club feel they have done their best to appease the Zyro incident.

They are calling it ‘App-ology’, and hope this will be enough.

More on this once we’ve worked out whether this is too clever or not

The Lexicon of Chav – 12/04/2016

Yes, it’s Lexicon time again – the part of the show where each week we educate you, yes you, the educated elite, into the ways of the feral underclass that seemingly run our planet, by providing detailed translations of common ‘street-talk’.

This week, the words under scrutiny are:

Is up by what, dude?

Common usage:-

Down, tis all. We is bladdered up all ends lest man can say ‘is up by what, dude?

Definition:-

Going down? Do you think, Tarquin, I know we are weak but, at least, as a man we are fighting for it. Widely and incorrectly believed to have originated from the 2004 hit film, The Football Factory, its first recorded usage actually dates to William Salmon in 1710, and his acclaimed book “COOKERY in dressing flesh, fowl, fish, herbs, roots making sawces etc; PASTRY making pyes, pasties, puddings, pancakes, cheesecakes, custards, tansies etc; CONFECTS candies, conserves, preserves, creams, gellies, pickles etc; POTABLE Liquors as ale, beer, mum, mead, cider, perry, rape, English wines, chocolet, coffer, tea etc; PERFUMING sweet balls, pouders, pomanders, essences, sweet waters, beautifying washes etc; HUSBANDRY, as it relates to the improvement of our barren and waste lands, manufactures etc; PREPARATIONS Galenick and Chymick relating to physickand chirurgery, as cordial waters, spirits, tinctures, elixirs, syrups, ponders, electuaries, pills, oils, balsams, cerecloths and emplasters, fitted for curing mist diseases incident to men, women and children”

Joke of the week – 11/04/2016

What’s orange and white and is now not the target for goal kicks?

Miss Me Lewington

Winkie is Loved by – 11/04/2016

As you know, the Dons are the most popular club in the country, and Peter ‘Pete Winkie’ Winkelman is not only the most popular chairman in the lower leagues, he’s possibly the most popular man in football. But just how widespread is Winkie’s fame, and who loves Winkie?

We’ve carried out some more research this week, and we can now say that:

  • Stoke Burns Unit
  • Charlie Burns
  • Tommy Burns
  • Timmy Mallet
  • Timothy Dalton
  • Dalton ‘s Weekly
  • Weekly press
  • Samuel Preston
  • Preston North End
  • Oliver North
  • Oliver Twist
  • Chubby Checker
  • Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown
  • James Brown
  • James Blunt
  • And everybody else who was indulging in drugs at the time

All really, really love Winkie.

Unfortunately there were two people we didn’t manage to get a response from this week. Anthony Kay was too busy stood in front of a mirror, looking at his face trying to say sorry, to respond, and Joe Aylett was still laying land mines in the Rotherham half to bother.

The Big Reveal – Roundabout of the Week – 28/03/2016

Clue 1, was a picture of acclaimed actress Patricia Hodge. Appeared in several productions with MK reference. Morse – Bletchley Park? Rumpole – CMK Court? Or Victoria Wood – now this could indicate a plethora of woods in MK. Could have just been there to throw you – or was it?

Clue 2, was someone being knighted. Sword? King? Noble? Clue 3 simply said name – hold that thought. Clue 4, showed a sprinter, finishing first in a race. First. Clue 5 was Terry Christian and Clue 6 was Lee Evans, but what did it all mean?

Well, what have we got so far? Patricia followed by a ceremony for nobles, making them Knights – or Sir, followed by ‘name’. Patricia’s ‘Sir’ ‘name’ is ‘Hodge’. Then you have Terry Christian, and the Christian name of number 6 was Lee, but Usain finished first, first could mean win, it could me 1 or, if it was the alphabet, could be a.

Put it all together and you should have had Hodge Lea Roundabout.


 

Gers on Sunday – Yo Me Enfrio O Lo Soplo – 10/04/2016

If, like me, you are a keen observer of football related social media, and associated chat rooms, forums, etc, etc, you have may have stumbled upon the phenomena of the football manager. Specifically the phenomena that goes along lines such as ‘He’s shit, he’s taken us as far as he can, and it’s time that he went’. Countered by ‘He needs more time. It’s the board’s fault for not giving him enough money’.

So far this season, 48 managers in the top four English leagues have been sacked. So far that is. By the time you’ve read this who’s to say another couple won’t have been given the dreaded ‘vote of confidence’! It breaks down thus…
  • Premiership, 7
  • Championship, 15
  • League One, 14
  • League Two, 12
So there you go. Fancy it? Yes! Why on earth would you? Obviously there’s no longtime job security. If your team wins, then the players get all the plaudits. If you lose, then you’re a shit manager, and it’s all your fault. The referee makes a poor decision that either costs you the game, or at the least a legitimate goal, you complain, the FA fines you. You’re taking your kids out for an early morning walk the day after a game where you’ve lost, and supporters shout at you, telling you that you’re still shit. In front of your children! Takes a special kind of moron to go down that route. Tip, don’t take your child out for an early Sunday morning walk around Willen Lake unless you’ve beaten Man United 4-0.
Ladybit MooCamp Radio Show
Yes you!

So there you go. We’re almost nailed on for the drop. We threw a lead away last Tuesday to a very poor Wolves, and I’m assuming that we lost to snarky Warnock and his band of New York Dolls. (These are written before the weekend you see, so not being Mystic Meg, I’ve no idea how we got on). It’s not been the greatest season I’ve seen in my 11 years of following this club. It’s not been the worst, that crown rests on the head of the one when Danny Wilson took us down. Ironically at Rotherham. But as I’ve said elsewhere. When the most exciting thing that’s happened this season is that I’ve had a part of my foot amputated, that’s says a lot about the sub-standard fare on offer pitch wise.

Robinson is an easy target. Someone sat in front of me last Tuesday berated him from start to finish. At one point, when when Robbo, Barker and Keet were stood in a huddle discussing possible tactics, this fella’ stood up and opined… “Yeah, that’s right. Stand there having a chat. Sort it out Robbo”. So you can’t do right for doing wrong. I doubt he really thought that they were chatting, but the perceived lack of any tactical change from the bench had this guy incandescent. But he’s a loud-mouthed idiot. Therefore his opinions are worthless.
Robbo said this week that we may have been promoted too soon, that the ref’ robbed us at Fulham, that the players always give 100%, etc’. It’s all bollocks. Manager speak. I’m sure they get taught it when they’re doing their pro-course. He’s the third longest serving football league manager. So, he’s either doing something right, or as some would have you believe, Winkie is so tight-fisted that he won’t sack him. There are some that have already said that if he’d been at any other club except MK, he’d have been sacked by now. But we’re MK Dons, the real Dons I like to think, and down these here parts, we do things differently. Or so I liked to think until browsing the interweb this very here morning. So he must have some redeeming qualities, other than waving to The Cowshed, and telling us that we were magnificent.
Therefore, let’s cast an eye over the top three longest serving managers, and dissect their qualities…
  • Arsene Wenger, Arsenal – 19yrs. Pragmatic. Won’t change his tactics. Financially astute. They always make a profit, and always finish 4th. Ensuring Champions League, and the riches it brings.
  • Paul Tisdale, Exeter City – 9yrs. Almost 10. Extremely well dressed. Happy to remain a football league team. A year or two in L1 twice a decade considered a massive success.
  • Karl ‘Krobbo’ Robinson, MK Dons – 5yrs. Coming up on 6. Big fan of squad rotation and wingers. Once widely though of as the best young English manager. Always linked with whatever vacancy arrived. Not so much now. May have been ‘found out’ at this level. Fat.
Daniel's Latest X-Rays
Daniel’s Latest X-Rays

If you’re expecting an answer, then you’ll be disappointed. Calling for his head, and for the board to go is just simple minded, reactionary rubbish. Who do you think will take over? Is there some oligarch waiting in the wings that we don’t know about? Is Harry Potter waving his magic wand outside Primark even as I type?

We, as a fan base would do well to think about just how far this club has developed  since its inception. We’ve come an astonishing way since moving here. Look at Villa. 142 years old. Heading for the drop. The support up in arms. Absentee owner. But it could be worse. Newcastle and the entertaining pantomime that’s become.
So think on, and be careful what you wish for. After all. Who wants to be owned by someone who employs staff on zero hours contracts? Fills their shops with mass produced tat, made in sweatshops for a fraction of the cost it retails at! Or host closing down sale, when the outlet is actually moving nextdoor?
So perhaps an appallingly barneted ex-music biz’ owner, and a slightly overweight Scouser don’t seen so bad after all.
Oh, and the answer to the question posed in the title, he should stay.
Gers.

The MK Dons Site that just makes stuff up – Tis our way

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