Category Archives: MooCamp Radio Features

So Long and Thanks For All The Fish – For Now at Least

After three seasons of shows, guests aplenty and more fun than we have any right to have shared, it’s with a mix of sadness and relief that I have to announce that The MooCamp Radio Show has come to an end.

There are a number of reasons for it, but the main factors are a mix of the radio station itself no-longer being able to support a live show in the evening, and us feeling that the show at this stage had pretty much run its course, so it didn’t feel appropriate to start touting it round the radio stations of Milton Keynes.  And I guess the fact that the one station that we did approach didn’t get back to us helped make that decision too 😉

Anyway, from all of us here, I just wanted to say a huge thanks to everyone who listened, who got involved, who texted, tweeted, sent in ideas or who took the time to abuse us either as a group or individually.  It’s been great fun

Thank you.

Shares in MK Cleaning Firms Rocket

This Just In – Following today’s announcement that the Kingston lot have got through the playoffs, shares in MK cleaning firms are set to rocket when trading begins again on Tuesday morning.  Speaking exclusively to The MooCamp this evening, local cleaning magnate Roy Al-Doulton announced excitedly

“We’re going to be rich!  Rich I tell ya!  It’s been ages since we’ve had a proper boycott, and this one’s a dirty protest too?  Fantastic!  I’ve just been on the line to my broker, and we’ll both be retiring after this.”

The current status of the Armitage Shanks Countdown Clock shows that it is currently:

since anyone took a crap on the floor in the Boycott End

More on this once we’ve dug out the photos of the last dirty protest.

Buy The MooCamp Radio Show Scripts 2014-15

The Bovril Forecast – 16/04/2016

We know how difficult it is to plan ahead without accurate forecasting, so we’re proud to support the Bovril Forecast – bought to you by the lovely people at Forecast – telling the future, one cup at a time.

And the forecast for this week is:-

Still served up next season, but relegated to a 16oz cup.

This Just In – 12/04/2016

This Just In – Following last Tuesday’s quite horrific challenge by MK Dons defensive maestro, Anthony Kay, MK Dons supremo, Andrew ‘Call me Andy’ Cullen has explained that all that need be done, has been done.

Having been lucky enough to have been within the club media departments, I can announce that they have been working around the clock since Tuesday night and believe they have created a new App, which they have studied really well – or an ‘ology’ if you will, and the club feel they have done their best to appease the Zyro incident.

They are calling it ‘App-ology’, and hope this will be enough.

More on this once we’ve worked out whether this is too clever or not

The Lexicon of Chav – 12/04/2016

Yes, it’s Lexicon time again – the part of the show where each week we educate you, yes you, the educated elite, into the ways of the feral underclass that seemingly run our planet, by providing detailed translations of common ‘street-talk’.

This week, the words under scrutiny are:

Is up by what, dude?

Common usage:-

Down, tis all. We is bladdered up all ends lest man can say ‘is up by what, dude?

Definition:-

Going down? Do you think, Tarquin, I know we are weak but, at least, as a man we are fighting for it. Widely and incorrectly believed to have originated from the 2004 hit film, The Football Factory, its first recorded usage actually dates to William Salmon in 1710, and his acclaimed book “COOKERY in dressing flesh, fowl, fish, herbs, roots making sawces etc; PASTRY making pyes, pasties, puddings, pancakes, cheesecakes, custards, tansies etc; CONFECTS candies, conserves, preserves, creams, gellies, pickles etc; POTABLE Liquors as ale, beer, mum, mead, cider, perry, rape, English wines, chocolet, coffer, tea etc; PERFUMING sweet balls, pouders, pomanders, essences, sweet waters, beautifying washes etc; HUSBANDRY, as it relates to the improvement of our barren and waste lands, manufactures etc; PREPARATIONS Galenick and Chymick relating to physickand chirurgery, as cordial waters, spirits, tinctures, elixirs, syrups, ponders, electuaries, pills, oils, balsams, cerecloths and emplasters, fitted for curing mist diseases incident to men, women and children”

Joke of the week – 11/04/2016

What’s orange and white and is now not the target for goal kicks?

Miss Me Lewington

Winkie is Loved by – 11/04/2016

As you know, the Dons are the most popular club in the country, and Peter ‘Pete Winkie’ Winkelman is not only the most popular chairman in the lower leagues, he’s possibly the most popular man in football. But just how widespread is Winkie’s fame, and who loves Winkie?

We’ve carried out some more research this week, and we can now say that:

  • Stoke Burns Unit
  • Charlie Burns
  • Tommy Burns
  • Timmy Mallet
  • Timothy Dalton
  • Dalton ‘s Weekly
  • Weekly press
  • Samuel Preston
  • Preston North End
  • Oliver North
  • Oliver Twist
  • Chubby Checker
  • Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown
  • James Brown
  • James Blunt
  • And everybody else who was indulging in drugs at the time

All really, really love Winkie.

Unfortunately there were two people we didn’t manage to get a response from this week. Anthony Kay was too busy stood in front of a mirror, looking at his face trying to say sorry, to respond, and Joe Aylett was still laying land mines in the Rotherham half to bother.

The Big Reveal – Roundabout of the Week – 28/03/2016

Clue 1, was a picture of acclaimed actress Patricia Hodge. Appeared in several productions with MK reference. Morse – Bletchley Park? Rumpole – CMK Court? Or Victoria Wood – now this could indicate a plethora of woods in MK. Could have just been there to throw you – or was it?

Clue 2, was someone being knighted. Sword? King? Noble? Clue 3 simply said name – hold that thought. Clue 4, showed a sprinter, finishing first in a race. First. Clue 5 was Terry Christian and Clue 6 was Lee Evans, but what did it all mean?

Well, what have we got so far? Patricia followed by a ceremony for nobles, making them Knights – or Sir, followed by ‘name’. Patricia’s ‘Sir’ ‘name’ is ‘Hodge’. Then you have Terry Christian, and the Christian name of number 6 was Lee, but Usain finished first, first could mean win, it could me 1 or, if it was the alphabet, could be a.

Put it all together and you should have had Hodge Lea Roundabout.


 

Tenuous Link – Antony Kay and a tub of lard

In which we, the overseers of all things related to the Dons, take two seemingly unrelated topics and show you how they are indeed related. This week, we’re going to reveal exactly how Dons defensive maestro and sublime tackler, Antony Kay, and a tub of lard are seamlessly entwined.

  • Antony Kay is a defender who hideously mistimed a tackle which injured a member of the opposing team
  • Not apologising for said foul isn’t an achievement to be proud of
  • Pierre-Joseph Proudhon was a French politician and the founder of mutualist philosophy
  • Philosophy is the study of the general and fundamental nature of reality, existence, knowledge, values, and reason
  • For no reason whatsoever, Roy Hattersley was replaced on the topical quiz show ‘Have I Got News For You’ by a tub of lard
  • And, finally, although it offered absolutely nothing to the game (apart from making up the numbers), the tub of lard was still invited back to play again the week after!

I thank you.

Modders.