This Just In – Following today’s announcement that the Kingston lot have got through the playoffs, shares in MK cleaning firms are set to rocket when trading begins again on Tuesday morning. Speaking exclusively to The MooCamp this evening, local cleaning magnate Roy Al-Doulton announced excitedly
“We’re going to be rich! Rich I tell ya! It’s been ages since we’ve had a proper boycott, and this one’s a dirty protest too? Fantastic! I’ve just been on the line to my broker, and we’ll both be retiring after this.”
The current status of the Armitage Shanks Countdown Clock shows that it is currently:
since anyone took a crap on the floor in the Boycott End
More on this once we’ve dug out the photos of the last dirty protest.
This Just In – Following last Tuesday’s quite horrific challenge by MK Dons defensive maestro, Anthony Kay, MK Dons supremo, Andrew ‘Call me Andy’ Cullen has explained that all that need be done, has been done.
Having been lucky enough to have been within the club media departments, I can announce that they have been working around the clock since Tuesday night and believe they have created a new App, which they have studied really well – or an ‘ology’ if you will, and the club feel they have done their best to appease the Zyro incident.
They are calling it ‘App-ology’, and hope this will be enough.
More on this once we’ve worked out whether this is too clever or not
This Just In – in what has been described as one of the most hypocritical attacks in recent memory, disgraced Olympic sprinter and drug-cheat Ben Johnson today launched a blistering attack on Karl ‘Robbo’ Robinson’s handling of the Samir Caruthers PissGate story.
In a plea published in today’s Milton Keynes Citizen, Johnson claimed that the Dons were ‘the most unpopular side in the UK’, that Caruthers was a ‘Disgusting Juvenile’ and that the Dons were allegedly ‘a family club’.
The MooCamp says “We won’t be lectured on morality by a disgraced drug cheat, so how about sorting that out first Mr so-called Johnson? If you’re keen to have your views taken seriously, then how about popping back in time and not cheating in the 1988 Olympic 100m final first eh? Get your own house in order Mr Johnson, then, and only then, you can come back and have a go at our fine urinating lads.”
We’d also like to gently criticise the lack of consistency used – reference to both Milton Keynes Dons and Milton Keynes Football Club in the same article breaks all established rules of franchise bashing.
(The reference to ‘splashed’ in the first sentence was quite funny though)
More on this once we’ve established when he moved from Canada.
This just in… Following Kyle McFadzean’s sending off against Brighton and Hove Albion today for standing still, MK Dons stewards are keen to employ the same tactics employed by the referee. Doris Entwistle, Aisle 19, row Q, has been ejected and banned from the ground as she’s not been seen to have moved for the last two games, at least.
This just in – following last week’s little display at Cheltenham, and we say that because he’s not long in the showers (if you know what I mean) it would appear that MK Dons midfield starlet, Samir Carruthers, has this week suffered a Boardroom injury, which looks to have been very painful in the pocket area, and may keep him out of the game for the near future, or until the fans have forgotten about ‘UrineGate’ at least.
Chants of ‘Same old Samir, taking the p***’ would not have been encouraged at a Family Fun Day. When asked when he’d be back, he replied ‘Probably for Cheltenham, in their league too’.
More on this once we’ve established just how long he’s been banned from Cheltenham for.
This just in – in preparation for this Saturday’s eagerly awaited ‘Battle of the Baldocks’ at Stadium Colon MK, Dons supremo Andrew ‘call me Andy’ Cullen today announced the latest in his now legendary line of big days out. Never one to miss an opportunity to get even a single extra bum on one of our many empty seats, Andrew announced that Saturday’s match would be renamed as ‘Baldocks’ Big Day Out’. Anyone who is able to prove to box office staff that they’re yet another Baldock brother will be entitled to reduced price entry, a free 1/32 scale model of the left ankle of one of the brothers (it doesn’t matter which brother, oddly enough their ankles are identical) and a freshly washed burger.
More on this once we’ve established just what we wash our burgers in.