All posts by Modders

The Lexicon of Chav – 16/04/2016

Yes, it’s Lexicon time – the part of the show where each week we educate you, yes you, the educated elite, into the ways of the feral underclass that seemingly run our planet, by providing detailed translations of common ‘street-talk’.

This week, the words under scrutiny are:

Boys to mensh

Common usage:- Prestoney! In the zoner, ya’ll that’s a hardcore hood, but you want take on my man C here, go ahead because you know, he’s fierce, he gonna come up in your face he gonna major damage you, you gonna walk away maybe limp but I say talk to the hand, call waiting, ’cause he’s out, boy is out… I can’t restrains him ’cause I’m conversatin’ you right now to give him a chance to cool down, to get back to a realistic level, as it were because we could be chillin’ in our crib, representing the M to the K and Lakeshood, you know. Mallin’ it like we all can, boys to mensh, pimp my Mercedes, call me back, put you on hold, you know what I’m sayin’?

Definition:- ‘Now, we don’t want any palaver with the nice northern gentleman, Ruprecht, do we? Come along old bean…’.

Winkie earlier today
Winkie earlier today

Widely and incorrectly believed to have originated from the 2004 hit film, The Football Factory, its first recorded usage actually dates to Corineus, legendary eponymous hero of Cornwall. According to Geoffrey of Monmouth’s Historia regum Britanniae (1135–39), he was a Trojan warrior who accompanied Brutus the Trojan, the legendary founder of Britain, to England. Corineus killed Gogmagog(Goëmagot), the greatest of the giants inhabiting Cornwall, by hurling him from a cliff. A cliff near Totnes, Devon, is still called Giant’s Leap.

The Bovril Forecast – 16/04/2016

We know how difficult it is to plan ahead without accurate forecasting, so we’re proud to support the Bovril Forecast – bought to you by the lovely people at Forecast – telling the future, one cup at a time.

And the forecast for this week is:-

Still served up next season, but relegated to a 16oz cup.

The Lexicon of Chav – 12/04/2016

Yes, it’s Lexicon time again – the part of the show where each week we educate you, yes you, the educated elite, into the ways of the feral underclass that seemingly run our planet, by providing detailed translations of common ‘street-talk’.

This week, the words under scrutiny are:

Is up by what, dude?

Common usage:-

Down, tis all. We is bladdered up all ends lest man can say ‘is up by what, dude?

Definition:-

Going down? Do you think, Tarquin, I know we are weak but, at least, as a man we are fighting for it. Widely and incorrectly believed to have originated from the 2004 hit film, The Football Factory, its first recorded usage actually dates to William Salmon in 1710, and his acclaimed book “COOKERY in dressing flesh, fowl, fish, herbs, roots making sawces etc; PASTRY making pyes, pasties, puddings, pancakes, cheesecakes, custards, tansies etc; CONFECTS candies, conserves, preserves, creams, gellies, pickles etc; POTABLE Liquors as ale, beer, mum, mead, cider, perry, rape, English wines, chocolet, coffer, tea etc; PERFUMING sweet balls, pouders, pomanders, essences, sweet waters, beautifying washes etc; HUSBANDRY, as it relates to the improvement of our barren and waste lands, manufactures etc; PREPARATIONS Galenick and Chymick relating to physickand chirurgery, as cordial waters, spirits, tinctures, elixirs, syrups, ponders, electuaries, pills, oils, balsams, cerecloths and emplasters, fitted for curing mist diseases incident to men, women and children”

Joke of the week – 11/04/2016

What’s orange and white and is now not the target for goal kicks?

Miss Me Lewington

Winkie is Loved by – 11/04/2016

As you know, the Dons are the most popular club in the country, and Peter ‘Pete Winkie’ Winkelman is not only the most popular chairman in the lower leagues, he’s possibly the most popular man in football. But just how widespread is Winkie’s fame, and who loves Winkie?

We’ve carried out some more research this week, and we can now say that:

  • Stoke Burns Unit
  • Charlie Burns
  • Tommy Burns
  • Timmy Mallet
  • Timothy Dalton
  • Dalton ‘s Weekly
  • Weekly press
  • Samuel Preston
  • Preston North End
  • Oliver North
  • Oliver Twist
  • Chubby Checker
  • Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown
  • James Brown
  • James Blunt
  • And everybody else who was indulging in drugs at the time

All really, really love Winkie.

Unfortunately there were two people we didn’t manage to get a response from this week. Anthony Kay was too busy stood in front of a mirror, looking at his face trying to say sorry, to respond, and Joe Aylett was still laying land mines in the Rotherham half to bother.

The Big Reveal – Roundabout of the Week – 28/03/2016

Clue 1, was a picture of acclaimed actress Patricia Hodge. Appeared in several productions with MK reference. Morse – Bletchley Park? Rumpole – CMK Court? Or Victoria Wood – now this could indicate a plethora of woods in MK. Could have just been there to throw you – or was it?

Clue 2, was someone being knighted. Sword? King? Noble? Clue 3 simply said name – hold that thought. Clue 4, showed a sprinter, finishing first in a race. First. Clue 5 was Terry Christian and Clue 6 was Lee Evans, but what did it all mean?

Well, what have we got so far? Patricia followed by a ceremony for nobles, making them Knights – or Sir, followed by ‘name’. Patricia’s ‘Sir’ ‘name’ is ‘Hodge’. Then you have Terry Christian, and the Christian name of number 6 was Lee, but Usain finished first, first could mean win, it could me 1 or, if it was the alphabet, could be a.

Put it all together and you should have had Hodge Lea Roundabout.


 

Tenuous Link – Antony Kay and a tub of lard

In which we, the overseers of all things related to the Dons, take two seemingly unrelated topics and show you how they are indeed related. This week, we’re going to reveal exactly how Dons defensive maestro and sublime tackler, Antony Kay, and a tub of lard are seamlessly entwined.

  • Antony Kay is a defender who hideously mistimed a tackle which injured a member of the opposing team
  • Not apologising for said foul isn’t an achievement to be proud of
  • Pierre-Joseph Proudhon was a French politician and the founder of mutualist philosophy
  • Philosophy is the study of the general and fundamental nature of reality, existence, knowledge, values, and reason
  • For no reason whatsoever, Roy Hattersley was replaced on the topical quiz show ‘Have I Got News For You’ by a tub of lard
  • And, finally, although it offered absolutely nothing to the game (apart from making up the numbers), the tub of lard was still invited back to play again the week after!

I thank you.

Modders.

Roundabout of the Week – 28/03/2016 – Clue 6

It’s Roundabout of the Week time once more – each week Modders goes out to see what’s happening at one of the 3,426 beautiful roundabouts in Milton Keynes and picks one at random and describe it to you in all it’s splendor.

Here’s your first clue

ROTW Clue 1
Clue 1

And here’s your second clue:

clue 2
Your second clue

And here’s your third clue:

Clue 3
Clue the Third

And here’s your fourth clue:

Clue 4
Clue 4

And here’s your fifth clue! (yes fifth!)

Clue 5
The FIFTH! Clue

And here’s your sixth (yes SIXTH) and last clue:

Clue 6
Sixth Sense?

Get those thinking caps on – so get in touch via the usual channels and let us know just whereabouts is this weeks ‘Roundabout of the Week’?

Roundabout of the Week – 28/03/2016 – Clue 5

It’s Roundabout of the Week time once more – each week Modders goes out to see what’s happening at one of the 3,426 beautiful roundabouts in Milton Keynes and picks one at random and describe it to you in all it’s splendor.

Here’s your first clue

ROTW Clue 1
Clue 1

And here’s your second clue:

clue 2
Your second clue

And here’s your third clue:

Clue 3
Clue the Third

And here’s your fourth clue:

Clue 4
Clue 4

And here’s your fifth clue! (yes fifth!)

Clue 5
The FIFTH! Clue

Get those thinking caps on – so get in touch via the usual channels and let us know just whereabouts is this weeks ‘Roundabout of the Week’?


Roundabout of the Week – 28/03/2016 – Clue 4

It’s Roundabout of the Week time once more – each week Modders goes out to see what’s happening at one of the 3,426 beautiful roundabouts in Milton Keynes and picks one at random and describe it to you in all it’s splendor.

Here’s your first clue

ROTW Clue 1
Clue 1

And here’s your second clue:

clue 2
Your second clue

And here’s your third clue:

Clue 3
Clue the Third

And here’s your fourth clue:

Clue 4
Clue 4

Get those thinking caps on – so get in touch via the usual channels and let us know just whereabouts is this weeks ‘Roundabout of the Week’?